I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
