3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So drunk its hurt
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
