He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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