I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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