Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
