just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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