Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
