I wish I could teleport
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
thus making me awesome and them whores
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
