Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
