Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you win again, gameday.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
