I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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