if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
