ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

  Fav 5 981 2087

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

  Fav 18 4768 1573

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

  Fav 7 4197 1043

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Very innocently.

  Fav 19 3350 973

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

  Fav 2 1659 844

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.

  Fav 2 1721 1211

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

  Fav 0 1303 734

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.

  Fav 2 838 530

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!

  Fav 10 515 1029

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME

  Fav 0 430 640

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.

  Fav 1 93 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the result of growing up in the '90's

  Fav 0 65 10

  share tweet
  

• (316): View more from Kansas

  So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?

  Fav 0 28 4

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Depends

  Fav 0 11 31

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.

  Fav 0 16 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize