She said her name was "party"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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