i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
