did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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