I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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