hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
