saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
