Where did you get a picture of my penis
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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