Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
