You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize