I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think i have two assholes
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
