im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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