I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize