i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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