I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
