A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
