i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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