..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
