i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
