I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize