i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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