It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
bring money and cleavage
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
