That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize