I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
