Non-Jews are for practice
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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