I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
