They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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