I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
