this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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