i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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