I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
