what day is it and did you see me today?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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