You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
