I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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