Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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