i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
