"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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