Yo dont text me then not text me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
