we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had sex on a roof
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
