OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
