My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
