and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
