tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
