the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
