Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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