i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
