Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
