the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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