So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
only you would photoshop your dick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize