Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
