If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
