yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
