just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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