guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
