you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
